


I didn't do it.

by ThreeHats



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:39:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Worlds collide as Tony Stark defends the planet from some unknown invaders, leaving him with a small, round friend and a lot to answer for.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I didn't do it.

**Characters:** BB-8 and Iron Man  
 **Location:** A sleazy Hotel   
**Scenario:** At a Court Hearing After Destroying the City

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 

“Alright, if we just approach this in a calm and rational way I’m sure we can not make this worse than it already is.” Iron Man said to a courtroom full of people. “Mr. Stark I would prefer that you not wear your suit in the courtroom. Is there any way you can refrain from wearing it in here?” the judge asked politely, knowing he was not likely to get the answer he wanted. “No can do I’m afraid. Most of the time a city gets destroyed it usually has something to do with this guy” he pointed a finger to his chest, indicating the suit. “Well, at least you came. Your track record for showing up to these official proceedings seems to be getting better Tony.” the judge said looking over the suit carefully. 

The real Tony Stark was holed up in a hotel that was called “Guff’s”, and was situated so far from a town in the mountains that the only cars that passed were usually lost by several miles. He guessed that the judge knew he wasn’t actually on location, but as long as this hearing didn’t end in arrest that it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Of course, he wasn’t really sure how to explain everything seeing as he was only present for the tail end of a battle that was being waged which wasn’t his fault.

“So tell me again little guy, because I may have misunderstood some parts of the story.” Stark said while steepling his fingers to look at the small, round, orange and white robot in from of him. “Bweep bop booop beep bwaaah bow boooh bop bop beep bot bwap booo bot bop wahh.” “That is astounding, and completely unintelligible to me, so if you would show me the footage you recorded since I’ve already told you I can’t understand you, that would be just swell.” “BwahT” The little round droid said indignantly before bringing up a scan of a large ship sitting just outside of orbit and firing multiple shots at the little robot while he bobbed and weaved a hairs width from each shot before they passed and knocked him forward with each successive blast. The extra boost in movement had him flying several feet forward at a time, rolling along buildings and shooting out and recalling grappling hooks that helped him to swing forward. The problem was that the massive ship above was completely out of sight to anyone in the city, so for all they knew it was another alien attack. “I know a guy that likes to travel by swinging, you two would hit it off.” “Bweet bwee?” The robot beeped excitedly. “And what do you have to say Mr. Stark.” the judge said loudly, making it obvious that he had already said it once before. 

“Yeah, but let’s deal with this first.” Stark turned with his headset on and opened his arms wide saying, “I do! For sure, it’s...what did they say?” Tony asked. “Well. they accused you of having a breakdown and destroying the city, and we’re wondering here if that’s what happened, or if you have a better explanation?” The judge said with an eyebrow cocked as hard as it could be. “Very good, ahh, right. SO this is some big secret Shield stuff and I can’t just blab about it right away so you know we probably need a recess or something so I can know what I have clearance to talk about and all that.” Stark stammered. “So this is not due to your mental instability?” the judge questioned. “Nope, no, not at all. I just don’t know what I can say, can you just...give me 15 minutes?” Stark was starting to get annoyed as the little robot kept trying to cheer him on every few words with a cheerful “Bweet boo!” “sigh...I’ll allow it.” the judge said tiredly. “A 15 minute recess.” the judge said as he slammed down his hammer.   
“Ok little buddy, big ship, lots goes boom, then what?” Stark said, averting all attention to the little robot. More footage began to play, showing a few more blasts, taking out most of a suburban town before Stark showed up in his suit. “Yes, then I came and you get shot at two more times, and then I grab you and then we BOTH get shot at and somehow the only person who sees anything thinks that it’s my fault, and that you’re somehow a droid that I can control. Very good, but that doesn’t tell me what happened to the big ship, or why it was after you, or approximately how much danger I’m still in, right now.” 

The little round robot took sound clips from a variety of voices to make up the words “I’m BB-8. The First Order is after me, and they’re not good people.” “This would have been great to hear 2 DAYS AGO when I first picked you up in that city.” “We crash landed here on the way to meet an old friend. My ride will likely be here soon. I can’t help you with the city, I can only show you what happened.” “Is this world in danger then? Why are they after you? Should I even be helping you?” Stark was realizing that this unassuming little robot could be the bad guy. It was about that time that a rumbling could be heard outside. “Great, now I get to find out.” Stark grumbled as he rose to his feet. “EXCUSE ME.” A voice boomed so loud that his earpiece peaked out. The judge was staring at the suit with angry eyes. “Yes your highness ness?” Stark said gracefully. “If we call for a recess and you stand completely still for four minutes, I have a feeling I’m talking to a tin can. Where the hell are you Stark” the judge said, a vein showing prominently. “I’ve got to-” he started to say before noticing the little robot had rolled out of the hotel room and a large flying craft was outside with its hatch open. “Nonono” He said and ran from the room following after him. “STARK.” The judge yelled, sounding muffled as Stark left the room with his headset still on. As he got down the flight of stairs to the pool area the ship was hovering above, he saw the little round robot roll up to an older woman who exclaimed “BB-8, you really shouldn’t try to go too far with those test ships, they’” she stopped as she noticed the man standing in front of the ship. “Listen,” she said sternly. “Just tell your friends it was aliens, can’t have your whole planet go crazy over one crash landing.” “Roswell, 1947, it’s not gonna well” Stark said in a huff, realizing his best explanation was about to leave, and his suit wasn’t handy. “They’re after us, not you, so no worries, we already took care of them.” “Is that supposed to make me feel better? That doesn’t make me feel better.” Stark said with some measure of sass. “Well it’ll have to do.” she snapped. “Say goodbye to the grumpy man BB-8.” she said as she turned to walk away. “Goodbye to the grumpy man.” BB-8 replied, using the sound clip of the older woman’s voice as the hatch door closed and they began to fly off. 

“That’s great.” Stark said, taking off his headset. You could still hear angry yelling interspersed with “Stark” coming from his hotel room. He pressed the power button and had his suit return to him, leaving the courtroom with no official answer. “At least I went.” Stark shrugged as he waited for his suit. He was not looking forward to giving a full report on the frustrating subject.


End file.
